logo name and design © meFFisto mkdw 2003, name derivative of Mephisto, and what he stands for, in Goethe's Faust; letters FF referring to gay male fist fucking or fisting



Trust your instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

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Gay SM/LeatherFisting, Red Rose in Gloved Fist photograph © meFFisto mkdw 2006, Male to Male Love and Lovemaking, Fisting, Fist Fucking, FF, red rose symbolizing love and peace among men of the SM/leather/fisting community

Fist Love
commitment · trust · bonding





Why get your kick from Rotgut? Why not from Champagne?

Personal fisting experiences beyond the mere physical pleasures led me to reflect upon why there exists such a huge mainstream crowd within our community, quite happily pursuing fisting as sheer sex of little or no emotional content or without a meaningful connection between buddies, sometimes carried out like a sports contest to surpass themselves – and what and why it is that, by comparison, an infinitesimally small number of guys, fuelled by their feelings for each other, do go – or dare go – that extra distance in their quest of claiming the singularly ultimate reward fisting can provide.

It seems to me that bonding is the most vital prerequisite to elevate impersonal, basic sex of short-lived physical gratification to – like it or not – lovemaking and its infinite perspectives of long-lasting fulfilment, far beyond the physical level. The latter presupposes personal commitment which, due to the obvious misperception of the intrinsic meaning of love, appears to be lacking widely in the mainstream.

Trust and bonding are, by definition, inseparable. How ever else could trust be established in the first place, if not via a deeply felt affinity toward one's fisting mate? There is a great difference between using one another and needing one another. Does it not amount to premeditated exploitation by rationally calculated mutual consent vs. spontaneous arousal by irrationally triggered mutual attraction? Certainly, all of us have choices, but if the choice is made in favour of a rational decision, apparently based on conceptualized fisting, then, in view of the required trust and bonding, this surely constitutes an antagonistic conflict – at least from the viewpoint of those who, for themselves, have discovered the enjoyment of fisting on far more rewarding planes altogether.

The Catch 22 of this predicament rests in the fact that those preferring to fist according to a rational decision are incognizant of it. Obviously, there exist two camps of followers, at least, with their respective interest way too far apart to ever be united. As the initiated know from own experience, it is only perchance that one or the other mainstream individual will catch a glimpse of other worlds – to change camps eventually. It clearly is an illusion to believe that fist fans on the whole, just because they do represent a minority within a minority, are a united fraternity. The common denominator seems to be the mere physical act of fisting per se, and not much more.

I am convinced, however, that in this sense these truths I recognized, albeit subjective, hold universal truths valid for everyone of us. Their collective essence entails the first and foremost necessity of allowing one's inner change to take place. Without it, the deepest, innermost longings get compromised. Proportionate to the degree of this compromise the expression of love, or fist-love, will equally get compromised too.

All it takes is awareness.

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.

George Santayana (1863 Madrid - 1952 Rome)