logo name and design © meFFisto mkdw 2003, name derivative of Mephisto, and 
			what he stands for, in Goethe's Faust; letters FF referring to gay male fist fucking or fisting

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Attuning of mind and body through at-one-ment with my Higher Self – the mind-spirit connection within my centre – and with everything that this could possibly imply, I take to be the ultimate challenge of being human. For, once it is met, do not only mind and body benefit, but the perception of all and everything will be altered to the end of harmony within and without.

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-- about meFFisto
-- more about meFFisto
-- themes & you
-- the art of fisting - part I
♥--- -- the art of fisting - part II
-- articles, essays, poetry
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-- site map
-- resources, links
-- contact

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FFist Gloria image creation © meFFisto mdw 2006, Glory to
 			Fisting, Male to Male Fisting, Fist Fucking, FF, Handballing, Transcendental Fisting, antric Fisting,
 			Spirituality, Mysticim, meeting you on the Moebius Band, encounters in out space, docking in orbit, out-of-this-
 			world adventures




Glory to Fisting
et lux perpetua luceat eis




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The Art of Fisting














Views & Sentiments
Perspectives & Alternative Dimensions



Part II








Communicating




In communicating with all our senses and our bodies, fisting can also be a verbal, even noisy, affair. But verbalization, I feel, should never state the obvious or superfluous. Instead, it should be limited to suggestive encouragements and focus on vital feedback and reaffirmation that elicit and foster a favourable state of mind and kindle tender emotions – all corresponding with each moment's anticipation of every next imminently progressive move in the fisting action. Any irrelevant communications may only prove to be distracting from remaining focused on the adventure.

This in particular applies to verbal utterances that require analyzing, filtering and logical interpretation – an indirect route to the senses, so to speak, thus an unnecessary distraction – as opposed to appealing directly to the senses, especially the emotions, which will perceive and accept them, without further ado, for what hey are intended to mean.

As an analogy, think of a digital versus an analogue clock: A digital time display needs to be processed by the intellect to make any sense, whereas the image of an analogue dial is instantly recognized, albeit visually, for subliminal comparison with the brain's memory storage. This then eliminates the need for logical processing at a time when you least want it. As a guiding principle, for the sake of unfettered play it is certainly more advantageous to leave the intellect out of it altogether, within reason of course, and to focus on communications that substantially benefit the sensual and emotional connectedness.

Verbal expressions of exultation are not uncommon and should definitely not be suppressed; they are positively infectious, benefiting both fisting pals in form of feedback. Besides, as long as you are on the same level with your partner, he will know exactly where you are or where you have just been and will most likely expect you to react that way. With a receptive mind, whilst fisting, it is quite possible to glean insight and experience enlightenment that find downright expression in your verbal jubilation. There's nothing wrong with that. In togetherness with compatible fisting partners I have, more than once, been fortunate in experiencing tremendously transforming and inspiring mystical and spiritual encounters. Fear of such realities does not get anyone anywhere – least me. Such experiences have completely changed my attitude toward others and my outlook to life.

Often, something cannot be expressed verbally. Attempts of verbally conveying feelings and non-tangible issues tend to fail as language is insufficient in 'hitting the nail on the head'. Furthermore, the spoken word is capable of distorting or destroying that which can only be felt emotionally and sensed on the psychic-mental level. It cannot, therefore, or should not, be verbalized. In lieu of directly conveying in words what moves you, or what you desire to happen, you can, however, with an astutely attuned mind, by speaking in symbols or metaphors, convey indirectly what you want your pal to know. Once their meanings sink into his head they create the most powerful feedback.

Non-verbal communications, which is sensory, I consider just as indispensable as verbal and physical communications. There are three types of it: tactility, eye contact and emotional-mental contact. Mastering them is an art and it may take some time to get the knack of them.

Apart from your ass and dick, and your tongue, that have their own and special ways of communicating, another asset of yours is your fingertips. In using your imagination, you will find many means to let them convey what you wish to give and thereby, in case of versatile fisting, also indicate what you would like to receive as quid pro quo.

Eyes can 'speak words' to express longings as well as intentions. Depending on the circumstances at any one moment, they can ask or reply, can beg or command, confirm or disagree, grant or deny, encourage or dissuade, etc; whole new worlds can open up in your partner's eyes.

Emotional-mental communications basically entails fully identifying, in your heart and in your mind, with what you wish to transmit to your friend without putting it into words, at the same time remaining continuously aware of him, of his desires and enjoyment, of what he means to you, and of what you want to give to him. By consciously aligning yourself to these criteria, you are enabling your pal to enter your headspace.

Once you become aware of this, you will also sense an ever increasing urge to commit your feelings to him. Instead of using words, you will automatically and naturally activate a dormant capacity inherent in you, namely that of transmuting these feelings so as to allow their mental transmission. You will want to feed them to your man by feeling them to him, pass them on to im as your gift. The moment this is happening, you are overcome by their instant emotional and physical manifestations of which your friend's feedback reaction will be proof. Happy soaring!

On that note, it should also be said that misinterpreting certain pertinent verbal communications can lead to killing a fisting session stone-dead. Keeping in mind that the fistee, as opposed to the fister, is in the most vulnerable position, he does, as a prudent fister would no doubt endorse, ultimately have the final say over matters concerning his physical comfort (consensual arrangements exempted). For any discomfort can impair focusing on what matters the most in a fisting session.

To ensure all-round fulfilment for both, there are indeed situations in which the fistee needs to, actually must, communicate to the fister when something is amiss. If need be, the fister ought to do likewise. It most often relates to issues requiring physical adjustment or correction to foster a smooth flow of events. They are commonly associated with the inserted fist moving too fast, an unsuited fist-ass alignment, or an uncomfortable or inadequate body position of either guy. It is vital that both get this right, but above all – the fister.

Imagine yourself in the fister's place being asked by the fistee, for valid reason, to lessen the intra-abdominal pressure on his pelvic girdle. How would you react? Well, if you were to conceive his request as an order to comply and, because it offended you, as criticism of incompetence, you would definitely be on the wrong path and should not be meddling with fisting at all. Why? Because to react that way is insensitive, inconsiderate and ignorant – summarily a lack of integrity amounting to an amateur approach to fisting. Sending out all the wrong signals only shows that attitude and headspace don't match the delicately nuanced interplay of a highly sensual happening.

A fister in the know will never let a fistee down like that. The foremost reason for this to take place is that the verbal information received is falsely taken as a reprimand instead of what it is meant to signify, resulting in failure to grasp the necessity of the request. The uninformed, or the insecure, is not aware of this. In consequence, he allows baggage of personal problems to be dragged into a fisting session. As soon as he is asked to take it easy, his ego gets the better of him: His conditioned intellect starts processing the communicated information in such a way that it will inevitably be interpreted as rebuke.

Such reaction is totally unfounded and thus impermissible. Moreover, it embodies an unwarranted preoccupation with devastating consequences in that the fister loses track of himself, entirely missing what the session is all about, only to finally accuse the fistee for ruining it. Pulling the carpet from under the latter's feet will surely send him into a tailspin. It is, alas, an all too familiar destructive pattern most of us have witnessed at one time or another – a disgruntled fister, a frustrated fistee, end of session. Pretty pathetic!

Finally something to ponder about: This sort of scenario demonstrates how the intellect, if misapplied, can get it terribly wrong. Experienced fisters and fistees know that fisting has to do with multi-levelled feelings. Since they are a matter of the heart and not the intellect, verbal communications should always aim for harmony and be conducive to the shared emotio-erotic intimacy and its physical sexual expression. If something gets in the way, take it in your stride and correct it. But don't dwell on it – for fulfilment's sake don't – treat each other gently and get on with what you set out to do.











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Setting and Mindset





We all know that fisting is best enjoyed in an ideal setting. The various playgrounds, some of them fabulously equipped with all the paraphernalia to which we are accustomed, should ideally also provide the ambiance befitting sensory perceptions – particularly vital in fisting. If this aspect is not reasonably attended to, in consequence impermissible frustration could be inflicted upon the players. I am referring to discording issues such as ill-chosen positioning and intensity of lighting, unsuitable music and inapt volume, inappropriate room temperature, unnecessary noises, extrinsic smells, or any interference by a third party whilst two players are focusing on intimate action (unless agreed otherwise in case of a group session).

As all of our senses are running in top gear during a fisting session, the ambiance should be conducive to them and, therefore, be sensibly and meticulously considered. Without it, the flow of events can get upset, at times severely. In conjunction with consciousness-enhancing stimulants disturbing effects can easily intensify, rendering us susceptible to not being able to ignore them, let alone change them. Instead, they become a gnawing source of torments. All of us are only too familiar with the effects of undue disruptions, how they can disagree with fisting, and what they can cause!

Moreover, personal moods and operational modes do change from partner to partner, from session to session, requiring attuning to the senses, or at-one-ment with them. Our personal constitution, in which we find ourselves at one moment or another, is also a factor affecting our overall sensory perception. The more unwanted distractions or disruptions can be forestalled, the better our senses are served. It should be any fister's responsibility to observe these details. And it's a real challenge to get this one right. It's worth it. For sure.

In summary, the choice of setting forms the core of a congenial mindset. Creating the right mindset should also include your capacity of identifying with your pal and to be yielding to his suggestions or wishes, whenever it makes sense. It's the view from his perspective that counts as well. That way a session can start on an equal footing. According to my experience, your attitude and approach toward one another, as well as the mood you are carrying into a session, determine the rule of thumb thus: a session will take off in the spirit that you are willing to provide and usually tends to continue along that line. Your mindset will always be proportionate to your intent.

The situation may be different under the influence of consciousness-enhancing stimulants. Depending on which ones you chose – and what you expect of them! – they can be smooth, or they can cause unexpected mood swings. In approaching them with a daring but guided sense of adventure myself, I prefer dosing them prudently (impish smirk) in order to preserve my sense of responsibility and continuous all-round awareness. My instinct tells me that I am having them – they don't have me. It has never failed me.











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Pheromones





A fantastic turn-on, especially enhancing the fisting mood, are the naturally occurring human male sex attractants or pheromones, among like-minded folks also referred to as man scent. They are an endogenous individual olfactory signature – a stringent, musky seductive fragrance with a faint but heavy underlying sweetness.

Pheromones, secreted by sweat glands, are volatile and primarily present in hairy, moisture-retaining body areas, such as armpits, the perineum, and the scrotal and anal regions. Once their scent is detected by nasal receptors, stimuli are transmitted to the brain, our largest sex organ, for processing to elicit emotions, attraction, arousal and sexual desire.

Urine and semen contain pheromones too. That is why the viscous ooze (not smegma) accumulating under the foreskin – a blend made up of varying degrees of decomposed urine, fresh pre-ejaculate and traces of sperm – is such a highly potent psychosexual stimulant. But beware: If you are eager to lick it off, or have it licked off, it'll be lost... gone.

Pheromones add a completely new dimension to the entire spectrum of sex-related sensory perception. The more passionate the sexo-physical engagement, the more sweat will exude and the more intense its raunchy scent will be. Anyone entering a fisting session doused in commercial perfume – pitifully, there are still some about who don't get the message – does neither know what he is inflicting on his partner, nor what he himself is missing.











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Tit for Tat





In case you are wondering about the subtitle, this section addresses thoughts about simultaneous fisting, as opposed to alternate fisting, an adventure well worth exploring. (Remark: although the fist is deployed, often even preferred, the term fisting is technically only partly correct in that most or much of the time it is the stretched-out hand in action, especially when it comes to initial insertion and deep fisting.) Simultaneous fisting, and that's my personal view, is best accomplished between two partners of similar physical height, as their fists or arms should ideally be equidistant to their respective butts. Having tried various postures myself, I find the 69-position the most convenient option.

For this you and your mate would need to be lying flat on your backs and closely side by side in opposing directions. Make sure your heads are sufficiently supported to uphold eye contact. Following initial reciprocal penetration, the ana(l)tomy of the colon and pelvic bone structure will guide you both to find the most suited posture and determine the angle of the arm to continue advancing comfortably. You should never exert force to push your way ahead. Let your fingertips feel which way to go and always 'listen' to what your man's ass is conveying to you. It's vital to be and remain aligned to each other on all conceivable levels.

Unquestionably, as is the case with alternate fisting, both of you need to bring a common mindset to a simultaneous fisting session. This entails standing fully and firmly behind commitment and dedication to what you intend doing. Among others, it also includes conviction, devotion, trust, integrity, responsibility and the absence of apprehension and fear.

The latter should by no means be mistaken for abandoning appropriate caution! Although fisters and fistees generally tend to be fatalists, it does not mean that the possible risk of physical harm is not on their minds. On the contrary, the focus is always on the awareness of harmonious togetherness, presupposing prudence, to warrant a smooth, uplifting and deeply satisfying fisting experience. The key to it is mutual trust and confidence.

In this context, fear certainly is counterproductive. For, fear and trust are as mutually exclusive as are fear and fisting, or, expressed differently: the first combination represents contradiction, the second one incompatibility – mismatches you definitely want to avoid. It is crucial to be clear about this before you contemplate a simultaneous fisting session, or any fisting session, really.

Awareness of this requisite, then, is an elementary integral part, the essence, of the common mindset. This in turn defines your attitude toward one another and how you go about fisting. It therefore follows that your mental state directly influences your physical state – a psychosomatic process – as well as your actions an reactions. It is thus evident that a fearless, relaxed but alert mind is the foremost requirement to attain mutual pleasure and fulfilment, but equally so to forestall psychologically induced physical tension and discomfort, which of course can also arise from inapt body postures and issues related to the fisting technique itself.

In an effort to eliminate any corporal discomfort, obviously the thrust, depth or angle of the inserted fist or arm should be adjusted first. If you need to align or correct your posture, and this goes for both of you in receiving mode, try arching your hips up slightly, then winding them gently to manoeuvre yourself into a position where you can adjust yourselves to the level and angle of your man's inserted fist or arm. All the same, one man's fingertips inside the other can probe, tease and nudge to elicit a non-verbal response from the latter confirming to be on the right track. It's a very sensible way of intercommunicating physically, especially in situations of intense mental concentration where verbalizing your wishes may seem out of place.

In terms of receiving and accommodating the fist, relief from physical discomfort can sometimes also be obtained by placing your innermost leg, the one next to your man, between his legs and diagonally across his torso. You can both assume this position concurrently so that your and his leg interlock, similar to open scissors fitting into one another, thereby touching your respective inner thigh. It takes pressure off your colon and pelvic girdle to render you more flexible, more compliant and receptive, and it also provides a hold, an anchor of sorts for additional connectivity. It's a further means of communicating in that tactile stimuli can be used to effect the coordination of your respective pursuits. If you remain mentally attuned and emotionally connected – an indispensable prerequisite anyway – you'll soon notice that the posture that suits you best will come about naturally and all by itself.

If you dare to take the adventure further, that is deeper, for best results both of you will eventually, and inevitably, have to end up back to back – in a 96-position. Though you may start out with a full fist, following stretched-out-hand insertion, do take heed of the fact that advancing further with a clenched fist may or will prove impossible. So use your senses! If done right, the reward is mind-blowing! It is an all-out, integrally shared fisting experience – even though communications via eye contact is no longer feasible in the 96-position. The more reason to stay mentally vigilant and emotionally connected.

That said, it should not remain unmentioned that the playing rules, if they can be called such, for simultaneous fisting go considerably beyond those commonly observed in alternate fisting (while applicable too), where fister and fistee, whether versatile or not, clearly assume their preferred or designated roles in any one session, and where the terms Dom and sub take on their specific meaning. This is no longer the case with simultaneous fisting, as each player is fister and fistee all in one.

Since both are sitting in the same boat, so to speak, Dom and sub are abrogated in favour of equality. What this precisely entails can only be comprehended personally on the spot in action. I can tell you this much: Whatever you venture to hand out, literally, you can be sure that your man will reciprocate in the same way. Tit-for-tat is the name of the game. Want to know more?... Well, it's up to you to find out. With your ethics on high alert and your soul attuned to your fisting mate's soul, you'll be in for something you'll never forget.











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Music





Much of the hitherto known synthesized transcendental and 'trippy' music is fabulous in conjunction with fisting. Just as much can be aid about certain classical music, especially sacred music. When it comes to fisting and music, attentively listening to it as you would in a concert hall does not strike me as the objective here. For, that could prove distracting from your pal and from the fisting itself. Rather, music should be allowed to seep into you on an unconscious level, subliminally guiding you during fisting, at the same time, however, not be the cause of abandoning awareness of your partner and the action.

I view music as a vehicle to help establish the mood as part of the mind set, the headspace. The challenge, therefore, lies in letting the music become part of you until you both, quite effortlessly, become the music yourself, so to speak. It serves as an ideal platform rom where a session can be entered into harmoniously, and in harmony with the music. Sometimes, it happens that distractions by external sources, or one's mind's sudden preoccupation with things irrelevant to the action, or the effect of enhancements, cause one or the other to veer off into a different headspace. Inevitably, this would adversely affect the flow of the fisting progress. In such cases music can be reuniting and unifying. But it does require communicating to refocus on the action by meeting one another on the music, so as to restore the harmony, thus the balance.

The general mood prevailing between fisting partners will be the measure of the choice of music at any one moment. In case you were to opt for enhancements, their effects and intensity will create an elevated mood, which in turn may dictate a different choice of music. Sometimes a change of music, depending on the direction of the action in progress, may be necessary. I have found such changes most advantageous, for the continuation of music that may all over the sudden appear disturbing, or gnawing, can be a tremendous turn-off and come-down – pretty much a distraction from the overall goal. A man who is with the fisting action all the way cannot afford to be oblivious to such requirements.

If you are into piston fisting or punch fisting, you would probably choose the kind music supportive of this preference. If you are into the gentle approach and either like the mode of a constant continuum or a gradually progressing intensity of fisting, most likely your choice of music would have to fall into line with your favourite. Whether I play as top or bottom, I generally tend to like the latter best. Following decades of my experience in fisting I have learnt what music is capable of effecting and to which constructive and creative use it can be put.

From this angle, and to my taste and understanding, fisting music needs to have encompassing as well as incorporating qualities. By that I mean it to be able to assist in removing mental and thus physical barriers, in bringing two guys closer to each other, taking hold of their souls and hearts, and in furthering their mutually evolving cognition of each other and the wonder of meshing together. So it follows that I function most creatively under the influence of sounds that are "horizontal" and will reach my emotional centre. Since my prospective fisting mates are sentient beings too, likely to respond in similar ways but not easily admitted by some, I always allow my actions to be guided to run conform to and in harmony with the music. It primes my partners' minds, particularly when certain bars are predictable, to align themselves via the melody to my head in anticipation of the inevitable taking place the next moment – much to the surprise and delight of the recipients of my fists or my ass.

Needless to say that insipidly sticky-sweet tracks, or incessantly beating, "vertical" noise, or music that has been conceived purely intellectually or synthetically abstract, without any feelings whatsoever, clearly does not cut it.











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Commitment and Motto





My commitment to fisting entails abandonment with heart and soul. It does by no means exclude fucking during the same session. Yet, for the same reason I am not specifically interested in the use of dildos. Even though they may be administered by a horny guy, they are inanimate and for sure not the real thing. No substitute of this kind can beat a man's mind, feelings, cock, fists and arms. S/M as a discipline per se is not really of interest to me. In the strict context of fisting, I do however value its potential and cherish it being applied intelligently. With a sensible, creative and compatible partner untold things are possible. All other disciplines fade in the glory of fisting. Some of them I find right down infantile. So why waste my potential, energy and time with them?

Perhaps, my overall stance reflects high-pitched desires. They may strike you as unreasonable expectations or demands. Performing them myself, I can testify that they are not impossible to achieve. Let me ask you: What is the alternative to a half-hearted fisting session? What would be the point of it? ... ? ... So are we on the same level? I can assure you, I very much identify with the points I am addressing and view them indispensable necessities for docking in outer space. Any of my prospective fisting partners should at least be receptive to them; their dismissal only equals denial. Reciprocal attention and respect goes without saying – naturally. In summary, let my motto speak for itself: PLVS VLTRA.






-- home
-- about meFFisto
-- more about meFFisto
-- themes & you
-- the art of fisting - part I
♥--- -- the art of fisting - part II
-- articles, essays, poetry
-- gallery
-- have your say
-- site map
-- resources, links
-- contact






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Proud to be Red





I am a leatherman, proud to be gay, proud to be an avid fister and fistee. Red is definitely my "house" colour. There is every good reason for Red to be the first colour atop of the gay rainbow flag. It deserves to be in this place for blatantly clear reasons. Period.



Return to Part I of The Art of Fisting





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